My tumor is a meningioma. Attached to the lining of my brain, but not the brain itself. It is a large grape size, and pressed tightly against my brain stem with my hearing and balance nerves running near it.
That is the risk of the Gamma Knife surgery, that those nerves will be harmed. I am at the point of not being able to take in information. I feel this is a major fail on my part- the woman who does research on the best toenail clippers of 2011-- and I can't even research this surgery beyond the cursory. I am going to trust my doctors. They have no idea what a big deal that is for me.
I have all my xmas shopping done, the tree up. Today and tomorrow are for cleaning the house and putting the lights up outside. The next day is surgery prep and surgery. I am going with the "I will be fine" tagline.
My therapist recommended I write notes to each of my kids in case something happens. You have no idea how that made me cry, but she was right. Since I am a major procrastinator the tendency is to obviously put it off, but I cannot. I wrote little notes, but really, how can you write something as if you will never say it again? I know I was missing crucial parts but I guess it is what it is.
I also started going to a mindfulness therapist- which is meditation- my favorite part about that is when she starts talking calmly her small fluffy dog sacks out next to her and starts snoring. Her skills even work on dogs.
The gamma knife will kill the tumor, turn it into scar tissue. If it is fast growing it will come back. If it is malignant (very small small chance) it will come back. But there is a high probability it will stop it altogether.
Strangely enough, I am in a happy place right now. My stroke effects are minimal other than memory and odd left side awareness issues. I have people coming out of the woodwork to support my family, and this stubborn independent woman is learning to graciously receive help as it is offered.