Probably why some days I am just beat. At least I know it is because something unaccessed is being worked on. It is also good to work because I am tackling those stroke fears one at a time. Considering my stroke began at my previous job I still had residual fear that if I worked I would get a stroke. Unrealistic, nonsensical, irrational, yes. But there is alot of that to deal with. Like if I have caramel cone Haagen Dazs ice cream I will get a stroke. Because I had that the night before. Ditto on a Red Robin hamburger. Between superstition and the false sense that I can control things that are beyond control and unknowable I have to let that fear go one at a time. The AA term one day at a time... I finally get. I hate to say I am a better person after my stroke, but I am a different person. And some of those make me better able to slow down my life. I recognize I have a strong character that wants knowledge, to be in control, to make things "right". And I just got smacked upside the head to live in the present, and just roll along through the bumpy life that embraces me.
|I should probably open my eyes for pictures...huh? You can see my lopsided stroke smile here. My neurologist always checks this smile first, I don't know why...|