Do you feel like you are getting "better"? Are the people around you patient? Are you patient? Do you remember when you travelled down the road unaware of what a stroke can really do? Do you remember when strokes are what you have when you are quite mature in age, perhaps living in assisted living? Do you have a very different fear added to your emotional repertoire that you feel has been forced upon you? Do you have a view of what makes a life, and how you wish to enter death?
Some days I have a pot of roiling questions twisting through my brain. I think they are actually always there in the background, I just don't recognize how they may change my approach to things.
I have mentioned before, I will say it again, my trust relationship with my body is sorely compromised. I spend a lot of time weighing, rationalizing, arguing, accepting, promising and planning. I know nothing is certain, nothing is guaranteed. Except that I am here. There can be no waiting for me in this life anymore. Technically this is true for everyone, I feel like we have just had a bit louder reminder of our finiteness. I know that, but I also forget.
How about you?