So I got a job.
I was not necessarily looking for one, saw this position pass by on craigslist, and sent in a resume. I am loving it, I forgot how much I love working. I completely have a different perspective on working, it is not the be all- end all work my life away career... it is the wow, I am really happy to be doing this!
My son is growing up, my daughter is slowly making her way through life. I have tumbled headfirst into a crazy wonderful relationship. The fog has lifted on my thinking, and almost three years later, I can still tell I am improving everyday. Don't buy the BS that your healing has to happen all up front. I am still building brain processes. Sometimes I do too much. And the exhaustion is mind-numbing. But I can handle it. I am loving breathing.
We are toying with the idea of living in Europe for a year. Maybe my daughter, most likely my partner, too. Sometimes, when I think that "I can't", because that is irresponsible. That is not feasible.
Then I think that in so many ways I am so lucky, and I have been warned loudly by my body twice I am not going to be here forever. And so then what comes to mind is : why on earth not?