Medicines

Haller Fountain images courtesy "Glabah" at http://www.virtualtourist.com/ http://members.virtualtourist.com/m/p/m/204662/

With the simvistatin I started having aches and a wicked wicked stomach.  Even though my doctor advises there could be "dire consequences" of me being off the statin, I have rolled over to fish oils and flaxseed supplements until my stomach settles.   Today was lovely here in the NW, with sun and spring fever making me want to be outside.  A friend had a dog to massage in Port Townsend, so I tagged along and she dropped me in town while she massaged her hairy client. 
I took a walk up and down a long staircase that connects "uptown" with downtown PT.  As soon as I stopped exerting energy on the stairs I got lightheaded, lopsided and funky feelin'.  It sucks that I don't know if it is residual stroke or tumor effects or medicine side effects.  I have said it before and will say it again : I know these medical challenges will become more commonplace and seamless within my daily life but completing the mental acrobats it takes to calm my thoughts is tiring. The "I am not having another stroke right now" is running alongside the somewhat fatalistic "if it is my time, it is my time and not my decision" alongside "I can't leave my kids yet" alongside "you are a major drama queen get over it."   It will get easier... yes?