Okay first off I think it very telling in my description of this blog that I am"managing" doctors, friends, etc etc. I am not managing any of them... they are off doing their own thing and I am just trying to keep up. My regular pre-stroke doctors are all low key and calm and know me... my new neurologists and surgeons are all revved up and fast talking about things that I don't necessarily follow.
I don't know if this is common but I have been very "in my head" of late. Insulating, isolating myself from the present... in a way ignoring that which I cannot ignore. And no, that is not working for me.
Last night I got out of my little shell and went to a gallery opening at Wilder's school. It was the best ever--just to remind me that AGAIN the world is still rolling along full of normal stuff. It helped that everyone was very outgoing and talkative and I love that. I also have to keep in mind that people deal with this sort of crap (tumors, cancer, illness) daily and hourly and by the minute... so I just need to get over my Why Me complex and deal. I have options, I am not dead. Stark reality works well for me. Sometimes. When I am not putting on rose colored glasses and putting my head in the sand.